i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
