so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
