Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
