I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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