I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
