We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
