we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
