I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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