Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
