And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
