he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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