? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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