you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
