I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize