"it" just moved
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
