Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
