Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
