i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
