shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
