College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
pray to the hookup gods
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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