i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
