it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
