Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
