Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
