is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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