so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
