As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
