His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
