Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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