Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
