I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
