yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
