Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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