If i come over, it means nothing
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
