that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
