new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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