Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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