I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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