im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I am spending my child support on dildos
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
