Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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