Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
