Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
