They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
home. puking in laundry basket.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
