Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize