I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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