i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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