I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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