I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
