eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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