She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
