No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
