my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
