If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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