I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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