Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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