Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
