I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
